Why I Feel Like (Not) Running For Mayor

I was in the voting booth today - voting like they do in West Virginia (early and often), reading all the forgettable names of the good citizens running for public office, and I thought, I have a better name than these jokers. I’m going to write myself in. I whispered this to my wife, who agreed that my name both looked and sounded better than any of the clowns on the ballot, and she wrote me in too.

So now I already have two votes for mayor, and I haven’t spent a dime. So I thought, what’s a good way to proliferate my non-forgettable name to the general populace? BLOG!! Our repository of used and non-used, sometimes fallacious, information.

This is my campaign:

1. CUT OUT ALL GOVERNMENT "RETREATS" TO PLACES OUTSIDE OF CHARLOTTE. (Just seems like common sense - remember a year or two ago the whole damn council went on a first-class trip to Pinehurst. That's ridiculous. We have "retreats" right here in Charlotte. These people don't need to "get away" in order to be productive.
2. HOLD PUBLIC FORUMS MORE OFTEN SO THE CITIZENS OF CHARLOTTE FEEL AS THOUGH THEY HAVE A VOICE.
3. FOLLOW UP ON ALL FORUMS, ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS, AND PROVIDE THE PEOPLE WITH ACTION PLANS TO BETTER THEIR COMMUNITIES.
4. THOROUGHLY EXAMINE ALL EXPENDITURES OF THE CITY GOVERNMENT, PROVIDE THE DETAILS OF THESE EXPENSES IN AN EASY WAY FOR THE PUBLIC TO SEE.
5. CUT ALL WASTEFUL SPENDING.
6. DIVERSIFY THE DOWNTOWN SCENE AND REDUCE THE NUMBER OF "CHAIN" BAR/RESTAURANTS INFILTRATING OUR TOWN.
7. ESTABLISH A VOLUNTEER "IDEAS TEAM" TO COME UP WITH NEW IDEAS TO MAKE CHARLOTTE THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE.
8. EXAMINE ALL TAXES CURRENTLY LEVIED ON CHARLOTTE CITIZENS, AND COMMUNICATE THIS IN AN EASY WAY FOR THE PUBLIC TO SEE.
9. SHORTEN ALL MEETINGS.
10. ENCOURAGE CITIZENS TO TAKE A MORE ACTIVE ROLE IN THEIR COMMUNITIES THROUGH CONSISTENT COMMUNITY AWARENESS MEETINGS INVOLVING POLICE, FIRE, COUNCIL MEMBERS, AND MAYOR CHUCK.
11. CREATE A DRUNK DRIVING TASK FORCE TO EXAMINE WAYS WE CAN LOWER THE NUMBER OF DRUNK DRIVERS IN CHARLOTTE. THINK INNOVATIVE.
12. MAKE SURE OUR COMMUNITIES GET TO KNOW THEIR ELECTED OFFICIALS ON EVERY LEVEL BY HAVING REGULARLY SCHEDULED FORUMS SO CITIZENS CAN VOICE THEIR CONCERNS.

12 POINTS ARE ENOUGH FOR NOW.

SUFFICE IT TO SAY, IF ELECTED, I WILL MAKE SURE TO UNCOVER AND STOP ANY AND ALL WASTEFUL SPENDING THAT SERVES THE NEEDS OF ELECTED OFFICIALS INSTEAD OF THE CITIZENS OF CHARLOTTE.

THANKS.
CHUCK MORRISON
WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR CHARLOTTE MAYOR